Transformation

I have recently been fairly closed with most people, especially on the blog :)
There is a lot of work and I've had quite many hours(probably days all together) of self-reflection on what is going on and why. The whole topic is mainly about work and living in Malaysia now which comes down to the personality of course.

A friend once said that moving somewhere provides always the opportunity to only take the luggage you really would like to have with. The same process as before (Denmark, Bangladesh and now Malaysia), I have been engaged by evaluating my luggage also this time, about who do I really want to be and what is redundant.

Now I have been with Statsit for 3 months and it has mostly been very much like a roller coaster ride. For some reason I have the habit to remember the mistakes more than the successes so that is also why the whole experience seems to me like learning to ride a bicycle all over again, falling every day and sometimes with serious bruises what are even beyond stupidity. Everything what I have learned throughout the years is in our context mostly just wrong conceptions or not useful. And I think I am not being too harsh here - the industry is new, the responsibilities are mostly new, the region is new and the level of performance the jobrole really demands is way beyond my capabilities now. Most of all, my awareness level has to improve. As if a towelboy would be playing soccer in the champions league. I am learning to live in a whole new way than I have used to and now as I write I have started to embrace the change. Although, I know it is good for the personality and the end result can only be of the good kind, very hard work and many falls will be there. There are no shortcuts to personality transformation unfortunately, it comes gradually, one enlightening idea by another. I will master this game.


Pic: http://www.disciplemexico.org/images/Image005.jpg

Stuff like feeling proud, hope, engagement or commitment are slowly vaporising like a bums fart into thin air. The first time in my life, I see how damn destructive my mind can be. It is like a small boys mind actually, just the toys have changed, the game is still the same. Finding fears to grab onto, finding craving to attach or something similar, none of it has any use to really being happy and grateful about life. It's sad but revealing also in a way, as to the change starts with the notice that something is wrong. Transformation.

Peace.